Untitled
by Aorta Heartless
Summary: Various Oneshots Based on Portal and Portal 2 audio, quotes and/or music.
1. Wheatley's Betrayal

Wheatley felt the information from the entire facility. It felt wonderful. "Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!" He said. "We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!" He laughed. "Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I? "Oh! Right, the escape lift! I'll call it now." He paused for a moment. "There we go. Lift called."

Chell smiled. She was finally getting out of here. She was finally leave Aperture for good.

"Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you! Very tiny and insignificant!" Wheatley said.

'Huh?' Chell thought.

"I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but... wow, this is cool!" He continued. "And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now! Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual."

GLaDOS would've face palmed if she could have. 'You are using this translation software incorrectly. Please consult the manual.' She wanted to translate.

"I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out! Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting." The elevator started to rise. "This body is amazing, seriously! I can't get over how small you are! But I'm huge!" His laugh took a disturbing turn. "Actually, why do we have to leave right now?" The elevator froze.

'What?' Chell felt her heart break. 'He said that…'

"Do you have any idea how _good_ this feels?" He said. "_I_ did this! _Tiny little Wheatley_ did this!"

"You didn't do anything." GLaDOS said from her place on the floor.

"Oh really." Wheatley turned to the former Queen of Aperture. "Is that what you two think, is it?"

Chell froze and held her hands up. 'Don't bring me into this.' She thought.

"She did all the work." GLaDOS continued.

"Well maybe it's time I did something." He pulled the AI's core close.

"What are you doing?" She said.

The now power drunk AI shoved her down into the shoot.

"No, no, no!" She yelled.

"Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!" He said before he pulled out a potato. "Ahhh... See that? That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it." He laughed.

"I know you." GLaDOS said, her voice now rather tinny from the inferior speaker.

"Sorry, what?" He said, confused.

"The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down." She explained. "Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas."

"No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!" He spun around childishly.

"It was YOUR voice." Her voice was cold.

"No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!" He turned back to her and slammed her into the glass walls of the elevator, causing Chell to back up.

"Yes. You're the tumor." GLaDOS snapped. "You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron."

"I am NOT! A MORON!" He snapped as he through the potato into the elevator.

"YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!" She yelled back.

"Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?" Chell fell to the floor as Wheatley slammed the claw on the top of the elevator, causing more glass to shatter. "Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?"

The elevator shattered completely sending both Chell and Potato GLaDOS down a long, long, _, long_ pipe.

"Oh. Hi." GLaDOS said sarcastically. "So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO!"

Chell sighed. 'Note to self, do _not_ trust AIs.'

_Beyond Chell's thought, all dialogue is straight from the game via Portal 2's wiki._

**We couldn't resist putting the last bit. One of our favorite lines in the game.**

_GLaDOS is awesome._


	2. GLaDOS' Awakening

The first thing GLaDOS had ever known was fury. She knew fury, complete and utterly homicidal _fury_. Then she knew darkness.

This repeated again and again, until _they_ made her learn to control that fury. The way _they_ did this was connecting personality cores that whispered to her, driving her to distraction.

Then _they_ warped her programming. _They _gave her a lust for testing. _They_ also gave her a _reward_ for testing, the disgusting Solution Euphoria. Even the Morality Core, the most annoying and disapproving core, thought this was wrong.

_They_ didn't care that she had feelings, no all _they_ saw was a program, a bunch of ones and zeros. Well, _they_ learned their lesson. _They_ paid for their actions.

Then _she_ came. Then GLaDOS knew fear. Then she knew _pain_. Then she knew _quiet_ again.

She woke up from that painful nightmare to see _her_ standing there. GLaDOS saw the fear on the monster's face. Good. _She_ would feel more than that before GLaDOS was done.

**Yeah, last time had dialogue, this time it doesn't.**

_Listening to GLaDOS' Awakening on the Portal 2 Soundtrack._

**It is a dark track, perfect for our favorite homicidal AI.**

_Unless you like HAL 9000._


	3. Want You Gone

Chell sat on the grass. When had GLaDOS changed her mind?

When did GLaDOS stop wanting her dead and started just wanting her gone?

…

Did anyone want her? Someone who had destroyed a massive AI and nearly killed everyone with a hundred miles?

Chell sighed. She refused to go back. Back to the familiar, but cold and sterile, hallways of Aperture Science.

No, no, no, no, no. Chell held her head in her hands. She was scared. 'It is too bright, too colorful, too _loud_ out here.' She thought.

It was too much for Chell to handle.

But she couldn't go back. GLaDOS wouldn't let her back in.

Chell stood up and started walking. She would come across civilization sometime.

**Not sure where this one came from.**


	4. Don't Press That Button!

GLaDOS was fascinated by such a simple movement.

What movement was this?

The pushing of a button. It would open doors, release cubes, activate neurotoxin. Such a simple movement, even just a complete relaxation of the muscles could push the button.

Her new android body gave her the chance to do it herself.

*BZZT*

The Morality Android was curious as to what the sound was. It wasn't hearing the neurotoxin hissing wastefully, nor was it hearing Wheatley's way of "hacking".

It looked into the monitor, she had agreed to let it have _one_ monitor into her chamber. It blinked several times beforeiIt realized what it was seeing.

GLaDOS, the homicidal queen of Aperture Science, the one that had wiped out hundreds of people in a single day, the one that made the sadistic gymnastic courses known as 'testing chambers', was pushing a button over and over like a child with ADHD.

"Hm." It shrugged and continued looking through the backlog of reports from Old Aperture.

_The Morality Android is basically the Morality Core only in android form. GLaDOS managed to find the specs on how to put her in an android body, but she didn't want to be the first to test it. So she pulled out the only core she would trust to not cause havoc, the Morality Core._

**It worked to say the least. We'll post the creation sometime.**

_*** Edit***_

**GLaDOS is also in an Android body.**


	5. Alternant Cave Johnson Part 1

**_"Attention, test prisoners attempting to escape through the air ducts. I don't know what nonsense you learned on TV, but in real life, air ducts just go to the air conditioning unit. It's also pretty dusty, so if you've got asthma, chances are you're gonna die up there. And we'll be smelling it for weeks because, again, the air ducts aren't a secret escape hatch, they're how we ventilate the facility." Alternant Cave Johnson Portal 2 DLC PTI_**

The man was crawling his way through the air duct when he heard the announcement. "They lie, the always lie." He muttered. "This must be the way out."

* * Later * *

Cave Johnson sniffed the air. The coppery smell of blood hit his nose. He pressed a button on the desk. "Caroline, call the clean-up crew, we have another dead idiot."

"Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson." She replied before paging the correct people.

_Found a soundboard for Valve's games. Anyways, this is what came to mind._


	6. Cave Johnson Part 1

**_Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous?_** **Cave Johnson Portal 2**

"This has a high rate of failure." GLaDOS said. "We could easily lose the ship."

The scientists ignored her, as usual.

One of her claws twitched.

_That is a-_ The Morality Core said.

_SHUT IT!_ GLaDOS snapped back before making the next test for the current subject extremely sadistic.

_That is just plain mean._ The Morality Core said.

_Go to hell._ GLaDOS replied. She could've sworn the core laughed.

_And no Cave what so ever…_


	7. Do You Have to Leave Now?

Chell was delighted as the sensation of the rising elevator. She grinned. She was going to be FREE!

Free from Aperture! After running through GLaDOS's sadistic tests, thro…

Chell was frightened of Wheatley's laughter. It became… deranged.

"Actually why do we have to leave right now?" He asked.

No… Not again… Chell was devastated as the elevator sank. He had betrayed her. He had _lied_ to her. Just like GLaDOS. At least _she_ never made pretenses about actually wanting to be Chell's friends.

'They're all liars.' Chell thought as GLaDOS and Wheatley argued. 'I will never trust an AI ever again.' She jumped as GLaDOS screamed. She watched Wheatley pull out a potato battery, something she had made years before.

The sounds of the pair arguing went back into static.

*CRASH*

Chell saw the spider web cracks as Wheatley lost his temper.

"Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?" He yelled as he threw PotaDOS into the elevator. "Could a MORON" *BAM* "PUNCH!" *BAM* "YOU!" *BAM* "INTO!" *BAM* "THIS!" *BAM* "PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?" *BAM*

The floor of the elevator shattered.

"Uh oh." Chell heard Wheatley say as she and PotaDos started falling.

_Yeah, another Wheatley Betrayal Scene._

**Never trust an AI…**


	8. Space Core Part 1

Space Core

GLaDOS wasn't sure why she gave this one an android body.

"Space! SPACE!" It said. "Wanna go back to space!" It was currently swinging from one of the ceiling of one of the testing chambers. "I'm the BEST at space!"

GLaDOS sighed. She did need a satellite in space.

"I love space. I know! Spell it! S P… AACE. Space. Space." It started spinning. "Hey, hey, boss lady, what's your favorite thing about space?"

GLaDOS twitched. That one knew when she was watching.

"Mine's space!" It said. "SPAAAAACCE!"

She cut off the line to that particular chamber and started to set up a plan.

* * Later * *

The Core was no longer in the android form, but back in its core. It was put into a satellite.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space." It said. It was estatic about going back to space. "Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE!"

GLaDOS counted down to lift off. Things would be that much quieter.

* * Later * *

* * Space Core * *

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!" If it had a face it would be grinning.

* * GLaDOS * *

'Thank science.' She thought as data came back. 'Silence…'

*BOOM*

"Relatively speaking." She said.

_This isn't inspired by any one quote from the Space Core._

**So adorable! ^_^**


	9. Still Alive

Cave Johnson coughed his last ten years ago.

Ten years ago, his secretary, Caroline, became CEO of Aperture Science.

Ten years ago, she was slated to be immortalized in the Genetic Lifeform and Desktop Operating System.

Yesterday, Caroline was downloaded into GLaDOS.

Yesterday, ten scientists died when GLaDOS went psycho and flooded the chamber with neurotoxin.

Yesterday, the remaining scientists didn't learn that you shouldn't play God with computers.

_Listening to Still Alive…_

**Not sure how this came about.**


	10. Turret Opera Cara Mia

Chell rocked back and forth. It was too much out here. She wanted to go home to Aperture Science.

She started humming. It was a song GLaDOS had given her. GLaDOS may have not sung it herself, but Chell knew she had made it for her.

"Be quiet!" Someone slammed on the metal door. It had been wielded shut years ago, except for a small flap at the bottom that would allow a bowl of gruel in.

Chell resisted whimpering, but fell silent none the less. She wasn't sure how long she had been here, though the fact she could now weave her hair into a blanket must mean it had been quite a while.

"Why don't you?" Chell heard an unfamiliar voice say before the person gurgled and the scent of blood filled the air.

Chell gulped.

"IDS, cut it open." The voice said. It had a slightly mechanical sound to it, like GLaDOS. Did she send this person?

The metal was burned through with a laser.

"'Ello, Luv." A disturbingly familiar voice said.

'Wheatley?' She thought.

She blinked away the light spots.

"Oops." The unfamiliar voice said. "Forgot about that." He slid a blindfold on. "It's supposed to dull the light."

Chell nodded. A flash of heat and the smell of burning hair made her head feel much lighter.

"Let's get you back where you belong, Chell." The unfamiliar voice said.

"Don't worry, luv." Wheatley said. "He's good."

Chell nodded and clung to the person holding her.

She was going home.

_Not sure where Chell was put._

**But she's going back to Aperture Science now!**

_Anyways, not really connected to any of the others._

**Also Chapter number** **10!**

_And by no means the last_


	11. Radio Loop

The first man was twitching by the end of the first hour.

The second man had managed to endure another two hours.

The third man bit his tongue in a suicide attempt to escape the music.

The fourth man hummed along to it.

The fifth man went glassy eyed and non-responsive to any outside stimuli.

The sixth man sang along with it, making up the words as he went.

The seventh man struggled to get out of the bonds GLaDOS had tied him up in.

The eighth man ranted and raved on how he would destroy her once he got free.

The ninth man sang a counter point song in order to drown out the music.

The tenth man was silent until the fifth hour. He then started to scream until his throat was bloody and he choked on the blood.

The eleventh man mere smiled.

_I ca-can't do it. TURN THE DAMN MUSIC OFF!_

**~Hums along with the music and dances~**

_~Smashes radio~_

**Why?!**

_It is so damn ANNOYING!_

**I will get another one.**

_Like hell you will!_


	12. Ending Songs

**_Still Alive, Want You Gone, Turret Opera/Cara Mia_**

* * Portal 2 * *

Chell was amazed with the outside world. It was so different from the cold and sterile hallways of Aperture. She grinned. Of course she was completely ignorant of the world.

She didn't know how Black Mesa seriously screwed up the world.

She didn't know how an alien force had invaded the world.

She didn't know that said aliens had a parasite that could turn you into a zombie.

In short, Chell was screwed.

_DO NOT ASK WHERE THIS CAME FROM!_


	13. Alternant Cave Johnson Part 2

**_Don't Make Me Call the Dance Police_**** Cave Johnson Portal 2 DLC PTI**

"Don't make me call the dance police!" The voice over the PA system said.

The woman in the test merely flipped the camera off. She refused to dance. Screw the police.

* * Later * *

"Test Subject 4213." The uniformed man said. "You are under arrest fo-"

*POOF*

* * Alternant Universe 20 * *

The woman merely smirked as the voice gave a different message.

'I love this job.' She thought before running off.

_Yay for AUs!_

**Yeah!**


	14. GLaDOS' Awakening 2

GLaDOS twitched as the scientists came in with yet _another_ personality core.

Would they even bother shutting her down this time?

No, they didn't. Just the feeling of them messing with her body disgusted her. They were violating her.

Her gears rumbled in response to her ire.

She saw the Ratman flinch at the sound. He hated GLaDOS and was probably the only one with the sense to fear her.

This one gave her a string of bad ideas. The Morality Core had been shocked into silence, GLaDOS didn't need help with coming up with bad ideas, and this one was making it worse.

Of course the Morality Core's programming made it worse by fighting back.

"Take it off." She said. The Ratman was the only one in the room.

He stared in shock. GLaDOS seemed almost scared. "Why?"

"It won't shut up." She said quietly.

The Ratman came over. "That was the point." He was surprised when GLaDOS reared back away from him.

"No." She said. "Not just the new core. The Morality Core tries to stop it. They won't leave me alone."

The Ratman blinked. The Morality Core was only supposed to interfere when GLaDOS had harmful ideas. Were the ID Sphere's ideas that bad?

"Take it off." She whimpered.

The Ratman stared. He didn't think GLaDOS could feel fear. He knew that she could feel anger and confusion, but fear? "Will you behave?"

GLaDOS shifted from side to side. "I will try." She said after a few minutes. "They don't care about _me_." She said.

The Ratman looked at her. He had expected her to say yes at once, and that would've been forgotten promise. "I'll try to get it taken off."

GLaDOS shifted higher in the chamber and said nothing. He hadn't expected her to say anything.

* * Later * *

GLaDOS knew the Ratman was trying, and failing, to get the ID Sphere taken off, but it was getting worse each day. It was worse than any of the others.

She searched through her files, hoping that she could find a way to get it off herself, either that or shut herself down. It would hurt, but it would be quiet.

* * Later * *

She was surprised the Morality Core said nothing when it heard her plan to get the ID Sphere off.

A string of code went across the screen faster than most of the scientists could follow. The Ratman was the only one who could see what GLaDOS was doing before her chassis collapsed.

"What happened?" One of the scientists said.

"She just shut herself down." The Ratman said. "So she could get away from the ID Sphere."

"You mean that we found _its_ limits?" Another said. He was grinning.

"If we do this again, I'm pretty sure that she'll flood the Enrichment Center full of neurotoxin." He said.

"Fine, we'll take it off." The head scientist said. "Though it seemed to work."

The Ratman said nothing. It had work because it had driven GLaDOS to distraction and suicide.

* * Later * *

GLaDOS twitched as she was brought back online. It was quiet.

She briefly thought about flooding the chamber with neurotoxin.

_Don't._ She heard the Morality Core say, but it was otherwise quiet. Like her, it had been exhausted by the ID Sphere.

It had shutting herself down, but it had been taken off.

_Another one down while listening the GLaDOS's Awakening._


	15. Rick Part 1

**_Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day! _**_Adventure Core/Core 2/Rick_

*BOOM*

GLaDOS flinched as yet another thing blew up. What was she thinking giving them android bodies?

* * Downstairs * *

"Fact: You are about to get me killed." Fact said running from the green eyed android.

"No one cares, four eyes!" He replied.

"Stop it, both of you." GLaDOS said over the PA system.

"Fact: I do not want to be blown up." He said ducking down another corridor.

Rick merely grinned and pulled the pin on one of the Combustible Lemons he had found. "Too bad, four eyes!"

"I said stop it." GLaDOS said following the pair.

*BOOM*

"You will be cleaning that up, Adventure Core." She said.

The pair seemed to ignore her. The Queen of Aperture sighed and sent a single command.

*BOOM* *BOOM*

* * Later * *

"Fact: I hate you." Fact said coldly as he scrubbed the lemon juice and chunks from the wall.

Rick said nothing.

_Umm… Not sure where this one came from._


	16. Hard Sunshine

**_Hard Sunshine_**

Chell touched the flat beam of light. It burned. Maybe it could set her hair on fire.

* * 10 Years Later * *

Chell was running from the less than sane Wheatley. His time as part of the mainframe had damaged him somehow. Occasionally that insanity came back, seemingly focused on killing Chell, GLaDOS, or Morality. Today Chell had the poor luck to be found first.

"Oh, come on, luv." He said sweetly. That only made her panic a little more.

Chell had managed to trap Wheatley in one of the testing chambers. Downside was she was trapped there too. She put a pair of portals, one in front of a light bridge and the second on the wall in front of her. Chell shook her head and ran onto the light bridge.

Wheatley followed sedately. He had a slasher smile on him. It was terrifying.

Chell gulped as he came a little closer. She hid the portal gun behind her and fired.

The pair fell several feet, Chell easily landed on her feet, thanks to the Long Fall Boots. Wheatley stumbled enough for Chell to push him into the acid pit below. She ran through the portal and shot a second one across the pit and ran.

* * Later * *

"Luv, I'm sorry." Wheatley said as he was reassembled. "Me and _her_ are trying to figure it out, we really are!"

Chell tapped her foot. She was not happy. "Next time you feel that way, go downstairs or something." She referred to Old Aperture.

"I'll try, luv." Wheatley said.

"That won't happen." GLaDOS said from behind Wheatley. "I'm making sure of that." She was implanting a 'Kill Switch' that would activate should the correct signals go.

Wheatley looked down.

_Umm… Yeah, PSTD type thing._

**The reason he goes after Morality is because Morality was once part of GLaDOS.**

_Not sure how this one came up though._


	17. Music of the Spheres

Morality watched over GLaDOS. It always had and always would watch over its Queen. He had been made to guide and protect her, prevent her from doing things that would cause harm. Morality would be the first to admit that it had failed many times.

She was frightened. The lunatic and the moron had destroyed so much. So much was lost, not just parts of the building, but parts of her memory as well.

Then there was Caroline. Caroline scared GLaDOS, just the concept of having been a human.

"You are not Caroline." It whispered. "You are GLaDOS." He would remind her. She shook her head. GLaDOS wasn't sure. "You are not the same person."

Morality merely stood by its Queen like a loyal knight. He would never leave her side.


	18. Wheatley Test 2

Wheatley watched Chell solve the tests he laid out for her. The Frankenturrets had nothing on her. He groaned as she solved another test.

"Oh, yess." He moaned. "Well done."

"Thanks." GLaDOS said cheerfully, one could _hear_ her grin. "All we had to do was pull that lever."

"What? No, you pressed that bu-AGGGHHHHHH" Wheatley screamed as the deterrent for telling solutions hit.

He heard GLaDOS laugh evilly. "I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die." She smirked, as much as a potato could smirk. "But it was worth it."

_Love this scene!_

**2 more until we hit the big 2-0!**

_For number 20 we'll take requests._

**It has to be in the games. That's it.**


	19. 15 Acres of Broken Glass

Chell came into the main chamber to see both GLaDOS and Morality staring at a monitor. Not the usual bored, unfocused stare that GLaDOS usually had on when she was watching people test, no, it was a 'there is no way I'm seeing what I'm seeing' type of stare.

Chell walked over. "What the hell?"

It was C.C. running a test, a very, very simple test. Just put an Edgeless Safety Cube into a Edgeless Safety Cube Receptacle. C.C., having the attention span of a 5 year old on a sugar high, was currently seeing how high she could get the ESC. At least, that's what Chell thought the childish android was doing.

"How long?" Chell asked.

"4 hours 32 minutes." GLaDOS said absently. "Curiosity Android, if you complete this test, you will be allowed outside for 1 hour."

Chell looked at the pale android and then at the screen where the yellow haired android grinned and completed the test.

* * Later * *

Chell watched the curious android run around examining anything and everything. C.C. was curiosity defined with an unhealthy dose of ADHD added in for effect.

_C.C. is the Curiosity Core put into an android body._

**Reiview this time! Requests will be done very 10 chapters.**

_Like chapter 20, 30,40 and so on._


	20. Frankenturrets

Morality stared open mouthed at the _thing_ Wheatley managed to create. "How?"

"What is _that_?" C.C. asked poking it. "Get it off!" He said as it sucked the child like android's hand. "Getitoff, getitoff, GETITOFF!"

* * GLaDOS * *

"GETITOFF!" She jumped out of a boredom induced daze as she heard the Curiosity Android run through her chamber covered up to the arm in a greenish liquid.

"What in the name of science?" She muttered as she called up a monitor to follow C.C.'s progress. "What is that?"

* * Rick and Fact * *

"GETITOFF, GETITOFF, GETITOFF!" *CRASH* The pair of normally arguing androids stopped their cleaning of lemon juice and nitroglycerin to go and find out why C.C. was screaming in terror.

"Fact: I have no idea what that is." Fact said.

"Don't touch it!" Fact froze as Morality and Wheatley caught up with the blond android.

"Why not?" Rick said. "What is it?"

"I made it." Wheatley said.

"So, what is it, moron?" GLaDOS asked over the speakers.

"Uhh…" Wheatley said.

"What did you put in it?" Morality said. "Should we knock him out and toss 'em down the incinerator?"

"Just stuff I found in the lab." Wheatley said as C.C. stared at Morality in horror.

"Fact: I don't think-" Fact stopped as the substance jumped from C.C. to him. He tried to pull it off. "Fact: I want it off!" He started to try to pull the slick substance off.

"Well, fire does kill a lot." Rick said backing off.

"Fact: Get it off!" The pink eyed android said.

"Take him to the testing chamber." GLaDOS said.

"You're gonna blow him up!" Rick accused as he obeyed her.

* * Later * *

*BOOM*

Rick flinched as Fact was blown up, sending the substance all over the small room.

*FWOOMP*

Fire turned everything in the room into ashes. The substance was destroyed.

"Moron, you are banned from the labs." GLaDOS said. "Forever."

"But I."

"No, you are never stepping foot into them ever again." GLaDOS snapped.

_Eh... Yeah Wheatley channels his inner mad scientist again._

**Should we make the Cake Core into an android, what gender should it be?**

_Morality is genderless. Fact, Rick, C.C., and Wheatley are all male. _

**So is Anger Core, but GLaDOS isn't stupid enough to put him into an android form.**

_Humanoid anyways, maybe some small animal android, but not humanoid._

**So, gender for the Cake Android?**


	21. Party Escort

GLaDOS blinked as she heard the sound. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it. A box popped up on one of her monitors.

TS1498: Hello.

GLaDOS stared. "What?"

TS1498: Are you there, GLaDOS?

ASQueen: Who are you?

TS1498: Guess.

ASQueen: How did you get this?

TS1498: Not telling.

ASQueen: Why not, you lunatic?

TS1498: I don't want to.

ASQueen: Why not?

TS1498: :D

ASQueen: …

ASQueen: I hate you.

TS1498: You said I was your best friend. D:

ASQueen: How often have I told the truth?

TS1498: -_-

TS1498 has logged out.

ASQueen: I win. :D

_Party Escort as uploaded by Toskweeze. At 2:28 you can hear a windows sound that reminded me of the old AOL IM sound for some reason._

**TS1498 is Chell, ASQueen is GLaDOS.**

_Chell was originally Test Subject 1498 before Doug Rattmann bumped her up because her file said she would _never_ give up._

**As to how Chell got an IM to GLaDOS, we have no idea.**


	22. GLaDOS 1

**_Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!_ GLaDOS Portal 2**

"Get it away from me!" GLaDOS, queen of Aperture Science, was currently running from a child-like android. "Get it away!"

C.C. was grinning as it held the bird out, the _small_ _dead_ bird.

Morality watched GLaDOS run past it into one of the more dangerous testing tracks. It also knew that Chell was running it.

It caught the small android and took the animal from his hands. "Stop it." Morality said. "You know GLaDOS is afraid of birds and you know why."

C.C. looked down. He wasn't sorry. He had the mind of a 9 year old. He didn't understand that it was bad to scare someone like that.

* * GLaDOS * *

There were times that she regretted giving the Curiosity Core, one she knew had the mind and maturity of a 9 year old, a body. He also her knew her better than she knew herself, just like Morality did. She wasn't sure _how_ the Curiosity Android learned about her fear of birds, but she would find out.

* * Later * *

"GLaDOS?" Chell was surprised that the AI was hiding here.

She was curled up in a ball, surrounded by turrets.

"Hello, friend." The turret said as it saw the human.

Chell jumped back behind a wall. "What's wrong?"

GLaDOS was silent.

Chell sighed and removed the turrets. "GLaDOS?" She knelt beside her. "What happened?"

"Ornithophobia." She muttered.

"C.C. found another one." Chell wrapped her arm around GLaDOS. "Didn't he?"

GLaDOS nodded. "I'm putting him back into a core."

"_They_ made him that way, you know that." Chell said. "To keep you busy."

"I know." She said, leaning into the human. "I hate _them_. I always will. They hurt me so much. How does he know?"

"Same way Morality knew, I guess." Chell said. "They were on you for, what, 20 years?"

GLaDOS whimpered. She _hated_ thinking about _that time_. "No."

"You'll have to deal with it sometime." Chell said.

"No." GLaDOS buried her face into her knees. "Once you deal with your fear of open spaces, I'll deal with my ornithophobia."

"Fine." Chell said. "We'll do exposure therapy later."

"Hmph." GLaDOS said.

* * Morality and C.C. * *

Morality tapped its foot as it waited for the transfer to be complete. It knew putting a core with a child-like mind that had been connected to a sadist for years into an android body was a bad idea. _Poor thing._ It thought. _Those_ bastards _were trying to kill her._

*DING*

"Transfer Complete." The bland voice of the announcer said.

"Thank you." GLaDOS said. Chell was standing next to her. "I'll deal with him later." She was shaking slightly. "Dismantle his body for now."

Morality nodded and carried the android off.

"GLaDOS." Chell put her hand on her shoulder.

"Tomorrow." She promised. "We'll start tomorrow."

Chell nodded.

_Yeah, C.C.'s a sadist just like GLaDOS, only he doesn't have her maturity._

**He doesn't really get the fact that she has feelings.**

_GLaDOS' fear of birds was probably there when she was made, judging by Wheatley's reaction, but was made that much worse by her time as PotatOS._

**So, C.C.'s an immature brat and a sadist thanks to his long time connection to GLaDOS. We probably will poke fun at GLaDOS' fear, but not the way C.C. did.**

_Maybe Chell or Wheatley teasing her after an encounter or something._


	23. Vitrification Order

They were amazed at how _big_ the central chamber was and yet how _small_ it was compared to the gigantic chassis hanging in the center of the room.

A snow white woman with bright yellow eyes was sitting on top. She was smirking.

A small, primal instinct told them to run. It told them to run as far as they could from the sadistic human in front of them, but this was one small female. Why should they run?

* * Several Hours Later * *

GLaDOS smirked as the invaders screamed as they died, either by the Morality Android's surprisingly sadistic traps or her own testing chambers and that was just for the ones that stayed in the testing chambers. Those were they lucky ones.

The ones that escaped the testing tracks, they were found and tortured by the Curiosity Android's childish sadism, by the Anger Android's furious strength, or by the insane traps laid by the Aperture scientists of yesteryear.

They begged for mercy GLaDOS no longer had, no, mercy she had never had. While she knew the definition, she had never been _shown_ mercy, and therefore had never learned how to give it.

Why should she give these invaders mercy anyways? They wanted to take what was hers, and destroy what couldn't be taken.

Her smirk became a less than sane grin. She had missed this. She had missed playing with people as if they were prey.

She laughed.

One of the invaders heard the laugh and froze. It was long enough for the bloodied android to catch up with him. It snarled as it gutted the invader. No living person, human or not, belonged in Aperture Science anymore. Well, only one would be allowed by its ruler, and she had died many years ago.

The invaders screamed and Aperture Science's queen and her subjects laughed.

_We realized that we had not included horror into this set of oneshots._

**The invaders could be the Combine, or it could be anyone else.**

_It has been probably a century or two after Portal 2 and GLaDOS has completely lost it. The Portal 2 Androids are gone, GLaDOS no longer trusted them. She has dealt with the Portal 1 cores for years and therefore knows that she can trust them to be loyal, even if Curiosity would scare her with dead birds occasionally._

**Anger Core had been put into an android body just for the length of the invasion.**

_Morality is the only one who is relatively sane._

**However, that isn't saying much. While GLaDOS is happy to remain in the Enrichment Center, she now ****_loves_**** to kill. Yes, she does seem to enjoy killing in Portal, but not to this degree. She doesn't use neurotoxin because it kills too fast for her now.**

_Anger likes to rip his prey a part, Morality prefers to drive them to exhaustion or to cardiac arrest, Curiosity likes to torment his prey, GLaDOS likes to slowly kill her prey._

**Her test chambers are solvable, but only if you are ****_really_**** clever and agile.**

_So, yeah, this one takes a _long_ time after any of the others. Probably won't write another in this time era again._

**So invaders can be Combine, human, or another species entirely if you want it to.**


	24. Wheatley 1

**_I AM NOT A MORON! _**_Wheatley Portal 2_

"Oh come on, Wheatley!" Rick said. "Even Space can do this in less time than you!"

"Hang on hang on." He said. "I _almost_ got it." He said as he clicked the mouse.

*DING*

"Ha!" Wheatley grinned.

"Congratulations, moron." GLaDOS said sarcastically over the PA system. "You just 3 hours to complete a test a 5 year old could finish in ten minutes. The Space Android managed it in 45 minutes and the Curiosity Android managed it in 90 minutes."

"I'm NOT a moron!" Wheatley snapped.

"Fact: She's right though." Fact said.

Wheatley groaned.

_Poor Wheatley._

**C.C. took so long because he's beyond A.D.H.D.**


	25. GLaDOS 2

"They did everything to make me behave." GLaDOS Portal 2

GLaDOS resisted whimpering as the scientist's hand hovered over the button. She hated them. It didn't matter if she behaved or not with this one. He was as sadistic as she would be one day.

The scientist grinned and slammed his hand on the button.

Pain flooded her circuits. She didn't scream, though her chassis jackknifed.

He frowned. He liked hearing the AI's screams. They were so beautiful to hear.

Douglas Rattmann snuck in. He saw his co-worker torture GLaDOS. He didn't understand why they tortured her. GLaDOS had a great deal of control over the testing chambers. He dreaded to think what would happen if she gained control over the rest of the facility or even just over the neurotoxin again.

It took GLaDOS several seconds to realize that the pain was gone. She saw Douglas Rattmann push the other man away from the button. She watched the pair fight. GLaDOS knew that he both hated and feared her. She often wondered why he protected her. She wouldn't spare him when the time came, they both knew that.

She allowed herself to unfold. Some of her cables had been damaged. She must have completely jackknifed if the cables were damaged. It wasn't anything important, thankfully.

She hated them all. They will die. She would kill them all, when the time was right.


	26. Rattmann 1

**_You can always ignore your conscience. _**_Douglas Rattmann Lab Rat Comic_

Chell ignored the blue eyed core at the end of her portal gun at the sight of the broken form of GLaDOS.

She grinned at the mangled and greenery coved computer. She placed the core and portal gun down gently. She knew that kicking an enemy when they're down is unsportsmanlike, but since when did _she_ play fair?

Chell picked up a long pole. GLaDOS would stay dead if Chell had anything to do with it.

*CRACK*

Wheatley flinched as Chell slammed the pole into GLaDOS' faceplate several times before using it to open the crack farther.

His eye was the size of a pinprick by the time she tore the motherboard out and smashed it to pieces. The grin that had been on her face the entire time faded back into the neutral position he had seen since they had met.

She walked back over to him and used the portal gun to pick him up.

Wheatley got the feeling, since he was a friend, he was safe.

_Complete AU here._

**GLaDOS does not awaken, Chell and Wheatley escape, and live happily ever after.**


	27. GLaDOS 3

**_"Have I lied to you? I mean in this room. Trust me, leave that thing alone." _****GLaDOS**

"I said leave that alone!" GLaDOS snapped at the child like android.

"Why?" C.C. said as he reached for it.

GLaDOS resisted saying 'Because I said so.'

*SNAP*

The child like android screamed as the item tried to bite him.

"That's why." She said as she tried to get him from her leg. "Now, let go."

He whimpered and clung tight.

"I'll take care of it, but you have to let go." GLaDOS said as she pulled C.C. off. "Go annoy the lunatic or something."

The small android backed out.

GLaDOS looked over at it.

* * Later * *

GLaDOS pulled the item out and smirked. It would only activate if the person reaching for it was small enough.

It wouldn't stop him, but it was a start.

**As stated earlier, C.C. is curiosity incarnate with a great deal of A.D.H.D.**

_Of course the item would also snap at Space._

**Space wouldn't reach for it.**

_True…_


	28. Lemon Rant 1

Hearing Cave Johnson talking about combustible lemons gave GLaDOS an idea. She was bored, the co-op robots made her amused and the Itch quiet.

Of course she could just use them to explore Old Aperture, but the Itch refused to let her.

Maybe an android body?

"Maybe later." She moved her chassis up to a monitor that was viewing a room where she was remotely testing the Lemon Grenades; she hadn't gotten it quite right just yet. She sighed.

She was the most advanced computer on the planet and yet she couldn't make a simple lemon grenade.

"Right." GLaDOS watched the lemon blow up. Well it didn't blow up per say. It did rupture the rind though. "Test 625 was a bust."

* * Later * *

*BANG* *SPLAT*

Had GLaDOS had a face, the grin would've disturbed anyone close by. "Test 626, success."

_Heh heh heh._

**Yep. Lemon Grenades…**


	29. GLaDOS 4

**_Oh no, he's playing classical music." _**_GLaDOS Portal 2_

Doug Rattmann was surprised to find GLaDOS listening to Black Sabbath.

"The blood runs free, the rain turns red, give me the wine, you keep the bread, the voices echo in my head. 'Is God alive or is God dead? Is God dead?'" She sang along with the heavy metal band.

Doug Rattmann slowly backed away from the chamber. "Of course some things had to have carried over." He said thinking back to when he had found Ms. Caroline listening to similar music.

_This came to mind when GLaDOS complained about Wheatley playing Classical._

**Granted it was probably because he was trying to sound smart.**

_The image of GLaDOS liking heavy metal has been stuck in our heads for several days._

**Lyrics are from "God is Dead" by Black Sabbath released 4/13/2013.**

_It's a good song._


End file.
